One Woman’s Opinion: Time to

Cash in My Chips!

Why I’m No Longer Trusting My Money to CEO’s Who Spend More on Lunch Than I Own

By Victoria Secunda

Last Monday, my husband and I lost our socks in the stock market. Not our shirts, but at least a third of our investments. After six nail-biting months watching Wall Street tank—and listening to George W(ealthy) Bush lecture us on the fine points of all morals not economic—we decided to cash in our remaining chips and call it a day, portfolio-wise. We are too old and too skittish to continue gambling our future, while CEO’s and accounting execs spend more on lunch than we own and—the unkindest cut—are paid a king’s ransom for failing.

            It isn’t that we’ve gotten cold feet, although, sockless, you could say that we feel a certain chill around the ankles. It’s that, for us at least, the word "correction" has taken on new meaning. Once upon a time, a stock market dive was considered a fiscal reality check or "correction." Now I think it means the Department of Corrections, where the chieftains of Enron, WorldCom, Andersen, yadda yadda (I haven’t got all day; the list is that long) ought to cool their heels forever for losing other people’s jobs and pensions. Actually, jail time is too good for them; they should be required to give to their investors all the money they made while cooking the books.

            In my view, the current market is not undergoing a "correction." I may be financially challenged, but I’m not stupid. This isn’t 1987, the other time my husband and I bailed (and which we later regretted; okay, that one was stupid). The current market has unyielding "trouble" written all over it. First, the Republicans, and probably more than a few Democrats, are too cozy with well-heeled lobbyists and campaign contributors to institute the kind of change that would give average investors a shot at fiscal fair play. How’s this for "fairness": Huge corporations can dodge taxes by incorporating in Bermuda and never set foot on the place; fat cats can profit from tax loopholes the size of Texas; and the rest of us get taxed to the max every time we sneeze, even as our investments tank. With at least two more years of Bush-speak and financial sleight of hand ahead of us, why should we have a scintilla of "faith" in the economy or believe that a real "recovery" is on the way?

            Plus I can’t stomach the idea that guys like cherub-faced Ken Lay are all still zillionaires, notwithstanding the occasional sleep they might lose over the threat of a brief sojourn in a white-collar slammer, or five-minute Katie Couric grilling. Add to this the possibility of more terrorist attacks and anthrax scares and people begin to feel at risk not just in their portfolios, but in their beds as well.

            Bottom line: I don’t believe that this country is going to be in the financial pink for a long, long time—long after my husband and I have repaired to that Great, No-load Mutual Fund in the sky. Maybe when he and I are cold in the ground, the next generation will be able to trust its hard-earned dough to any institution that doesn’t have the initials F.D.I.C.

            Heck, I hope I’m wrong. Call us crazy for folding when most folks are still holding. All I know is if I had in the bank today what we’ve lost in the last four years, I’d be sitting pretty. Wait a minute—I did have that much, at least on paper. Okay, so we’re as guilty as the next guy for hanging on when the signs were all there that the stock market deck was stacked.
 

            Whatever. At least now we can sleep nights. The money we earn and put in the bank, we keep; the money we lost in the market was never really ours. I’ve learned my lesson: better safe than sorry. And in November, you better believe we’re going to vote with our bare feet.

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Victoria Secunda is an award-winning author (eight books), journalist, researcher and lecturer, whose work has appeared in Woman’s Day, TV Guide, Harper’s Bazaar, Redbook, and Glamour, among other magazines. Her latest book is “Losing Your Parents, Finding Yourself: The Defining Turning Point of Adult Life” (Hyperion).

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          Feel as she does and looking for some revenge? Click on this link: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blenronwarp.htm, where you’ll be invited to “warp the faces of key players in the Enron scandal. Just click and drag your mouse.” The resulting funhouse images are, as they say,  “surprisingly cathartic.”

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          For a counterpoint to this dim view of the stock market, read financial adviser Dr. Charles Lieberman’s rosier assessment, “The Sky Is Falling. Time to Buy Sky.”  And remember that only YOU can decide which financial moves are right for you—and that you need to take into account many factors, including your age, number of years to retirement, risk tolerance, salary, lifestyle, and personal situation,

when you make those moves.

This article was first posted on www.makingbreadmagazine.com in July 2002.

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