ASK MR. MODEM

Brush Up Your Netiquette!

Avoid That Sinking Feeling When You Accidentally Hit the Send Button Before You’re Ready—and More

E-Relationship Savers

Third of 4 Parts

By Richard A. Sherman

ollow  these next 10 rules in my “Brush Up Your Netiquette!” series, and you’ll avoid the unnecessary embarrassment that comes from accidentally hitting the Send button before you’re ready or offending your recipient unknowingly by committing an Internet faux pas.

Unless You Want to Lose Friends and Alienate Customers . . .

            21. Do not type in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.  This is an oldie-but-goodie e-mail rule that has withstood the test of time. Typing in all caps is considered shouting and should be avoided. It’s fine to occasionally include a word in all caps for emphasis, like shouting “CONGRATULATIONS” to somebody, but use it sparingly. It’s also more difficult to read a message written in capital letters than it is reading a message typed in upper and lower case. Perhaps most significantly, typing in all caps places the recipient on notice that you’re an e-mail novice, something you might want to avoid, particularly in a business or professional environment. 

            22. Invoke the 12-hour cool-down rule. Never send an e-mail written in anger. If you’re upset, go ahead and pound the keyboard, stomp your feet, vent your spleen to your heart’s content in an e-mail, but do not send it.  After you’ve spewed your digital venom, save the e-mail as a draft and review it a minimum of 12 hours later. Chances are you’ll be <I>very</I> glad you didn’t send it in the heat of the moment. This phenomenon is called “dodging a digital bullet.”

            23. Insert the recipient’s address last. E-mails sent accidentally or prematurely can destroy business and personal relationships. Remove the e-mail address from a reply or don’t address an e-mail you’re composing—particularly one written in anger—until you’re ready to send it. There is no more helpless, sinking feeling than the one you get when you accidentally click the Send button, instead of hitting the Close or Save button. Don’t take any chances. The relationship you save may be your own.

            24. Do not attempt to retrieve a message. If you make a mistake, don’t ask recipients to send back your e-mail. Chances are that your message has already been read, anyway. Instead, send another e-mail, advising recipients that you made a mistake and provide the correct or updated information. It’s a much less intrusive approach, and your honesty will be appreciated.

            25. Do not overuse the “Reply to All” option. Just because a sender may have copied a number of people on an e-mail to you doesn’t mean you need to reply to everybody. Use discretion. Ask yourself if there is truly any benefit to be derived by multiple recipients receiving your response.  If not, click Reply instead of Reply to All, and respond to the sender only.

            26. Use the Bcc field. When sending an e-mail to multiple recipients, place e-mail addresses in the Bcc (Blind Carbon or Blind Cyber Copy) to hide them, unless you specifically want each recipient to know who else received the e-mail. It is an electronic faux pas (and unfair to the individuals on your list who did not give you permission to share their addresses with others) to publish all recipient e-mail addresses in a mass e-mail.

            27. Limit the use of online abbreviations and emoticons. Humor, irony, sarcasm, etc. are easy to miss when contained in an e-mail message. Sometimes it helps to add an emoticon or “smiley face” to let the reader know you’re just kidding. Example: “Ask Mr. Modem!  He knows everything!”  J.” But don’t overdue it. A good rule of thumb is: “When in doubt, don’t.” 

            28.  Kutesy isn’t always kewl. It’s fine to include “fun” phrases and goofy SpElLiNGs on occasion, but it gets old in a big hurry. No matter how clever you think something is, it’s probably not new, and chances are your intended recipient has seen it before. Enough with the “Windoze,” already. I’m beggin’ you.   

            29.  Don’t overuse punctuation!!!!! Need I say more? 

            30. Tidy up before forwarding. Take the time to clean up your e-mail by cutting and pasting forwarded e-mails and/or attachments into a new e-mail. If your e-mail program permits editing of received messages, delete extraneous material, such as lists of e-mail recipients, and clean up any formatting issues such as >>>>> forwarding marks. The following Web site, Mr. Ed’s Email Stripper (www.mistered.us/stripper/index.shtml) can help you clean up your act.

 Coming next month, Part 4 of “The New Netiquette.”

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Richard A. Sherman, a k a Mr. Modem, is a nationally syndicated columnist, whose “Ask Mr. Modem!” column appears in more than 60 publications throughout the U.S. and in Canada. As publisher of the popular “Ask Mr. Modem” weekly newsletter, he provides easy-to-understand, non-technical, computer- and Internet-related answers to questions received from subscribers worldwide. He is the author of eight books, including “Mr. Modem’s Internet Guide for Seniors” (Sybex) and “Ask Mr. Modem,” a collection of hundreds of frequently asked computer and Internet questions received from readers. Richard is a contributing editor to TechTV and host of the daily “Mr. Modem Minute” television segment produced by FOX-TV.

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